Just a quick blog - request for help. Any Black Country bloggers got a decent recipe for groaty pudding? And does anybody have any idea what groats are in Greek??

Back to my childhood - place I went to every year until I was seventeen - and still my favourite beach in the world

what's in a name?

For some obscure reason, the mobile telephone company I use has decided to change its name. It used to call itself "Tim", itself a fairly saft name for a company, but probably 
better than calling itself Keith or Malcolm.  
It has now decided to call itself "Wind", which means that 
thousands of  
users, when asked which company they use, , will be forced to reply 
"I have Wind."  

This unfortunate marketing ploy reminded me of a similar doomed choice of name by
an Athenian slimming company a few years ago. The company's main aim is to persuade
people
to lose a considerable number of pounds, both in the 
avoirdupois and financial sense of the 
word,
by availing themselves of its services. The enterprising company developed a marvellous 
machine
which could analyse your body fat electronically and inform you that you were 
overweight.
I can derive the same result by lifting my shirt up in front of a mirror and being brutally 
honest,
but technology is so much more fun.  The company needed a name for its device. 
Here in Greece, many new products are given an English name. It makes them sound
more trendy, more scientific, and so the company decided the machine would have an English name. Many larger than life 
posters soon appeared around the city featuring a slender woman with a huge smile on her face. And smile she should. Apparently 
she'd just spent half an hour on the "Analiser." I was ready to sign up 
immediately, but
unfortunately the posters mysteriously disappeared one night and the company
reverted to
calculating body mass indices with a tape measure and set of weighing scales.

My sister in law's job involves helping companies outside the UK to import their 
products
into Britain. She recently received a request for help from an Eastern European
company which manufactures a marvellous toy which offers greater mobility to disabled children. She was 
delighted to help, until she saw the name of the toy. 
The manufacturers had originally decided to use a beautiful German name, Spasswagen, which means "fun car".  In full awareness, however,  
of the fact that
the average Englishman has no ability to pronounce correctly any foreign word 
which is not 
associated with curry, they decided to anglicise the name somewhat. And thus, 
the
Spaz Wagon was born. Predictably, it was not to be a commercial success.   

Good night each, kalhnyxta kai nos da i chi gyd     

    

Something wonderful happens in this big old city every Easter. It empties. Everyone goes to their village to celebrate Easter and a peace decends on the Metropolis that will not exist again until the middle of August. The few of us who remain get an idea of what it must have been like here forty years ago. I'm not being antisocial - I also enjoy the bustle when all five million Athenians - native or adopted - are packed in here like sardines. But it's pleasant to enjoy the contrast every now and again. And I get to enjoy the 
pleasure of planting my bottom on a comfortable chair on my balcony or tending to the plants without hearing boy racer 
zooming by below on his decibel-maximising souped-up moped cum sewing machine every five minutes. 
I also get to enjoy pottering about. It's hard to truly define "pottering about", but basically it's the art of doing something for hours
without actually really doing much that you couldn't have done in five minutes if 
you'd put your mind to it. But who wants to put his mind to anything much in an empty sunny city where the most important decision is whether to deadhead the
red geraniums or the white ones. I plumped for the red ones. The white ones will happily wait until August.
Kalhnyxta se olous, good night each each, a nos da i chi gyd      

At last. Just read as ow they'm a-gi'ing Black Country lessons tu nusses worram werking in ospitals in the Black Country. Baht tahm too. I've sid me Gran in ospitals. Her cor understond wot the nusses am a-saying to er, an they doh understand er nahther. They gid er a test t'uther day to see if er wuz 
compos mentis enuf ter mek a cup a tay on er own. They day gi'er ne'er a tay pot, an there ay ne'er an old 
ooman az ull mek a cuppa wi'out a tay pot,  so er day av a clue ah to goo 
on an failed the test. Er did ask weer the tay pot wuz but they day understond er. Mebe wi a bit a linguistic lerning by the nusses the old uns wot ay never lernd to spake lark a docta ull get diagnosed right, 'sted a bein classifahd as mentally defective cuz they doh  spake lahk they cummen from Lunden. 
Kalhnyxta se olous sas, good night each a nos da i chi gyd    

Happy to help, guys

Wow, 655 000 dead SINCE we stepped in to help out Iraq. Bet they're glad we turned up just in time. According to a recent report:

More than 600,0000 civilians have died as a result of the war in Iraq, according to a team of American and Iraqi scientists. The estimate - far higher than previous figures - was arrived at by interviewing residents during a random sampling of households. But US President George Bush, who has previously estimated a figure of (a mere) 30,000, has called the latest number "not credible".

US President George Bush would probably view any number with more than three digits, and any word with more than three syllables, as not credible.

Then the report gets worrying.

Violent deaths in Iraq are currently totalling 100 a day. The UN humanitarian chief Jan Egeland says "many of those are killed by gunshots or have been tortured to death".

But then things look up a little.

Of the 655,000 estimated "excess deaths," 601,000 resulted from violence and the rest from disease and other causes, according to the study.

So you can only blame us for 601 000 deaths. The rest were caused by poor hygiene and clumsiness.

Any other countries needing a helping hand to topple an unpleasant dictator just contact
www. T he W ar A gainst T errorism S quad.com

Kalhnychta se olous sas, nos da i chi gyd and good night each

gwastraff o amser

Mae'n gas gen i'n swydd i. Dwi i'n eistedd yn y swyddfa bob dydd trwy'r dydd wrthi'n gyfieithu sothrach. Mae'r bos yn edrych arna'i bod tro i mi gyrraedd fel rhwybeth sy'n byw mewn afal. Mae ei chwaer hi, Mopey Dick, wedi bod yn gwrthod i siarad a fi am chwe mis- diolch byth - a phopeth am 800 euro y mis. Cachi! Be wna'i? Dwi'n meddwl am fynd nol i Brydain, am chwilio am swydd yn Sainsburys. Diolch byth mi fydd hi'n ddydd Gwener yfory.
Kalhnychta se olous, good night each a nos da i chi gyd
Ol-ysgrif - Sorry am y camgymeriadau yn y Gymraeg. Os dach chi eisiau'n helpu fi hefo chywiriadau - croeso!
Jamie