Sunday, November 13, 2005

spam me baby

I am kinda fascinated by spam mail. Where do these people get my address? What makes them think I am interested in what they have to offer? I'm now getting spam from people who just LOVE my blogspot. Somebody yesterday was so moved by my blog about Kyoto, written as usual under the influence, that they thought I may be interested in their weight loss pill. I have numerous faults - smoking, swearing, being under the influence, etc., but as all these vices leave precious little time for food, weight loss pills are the last thing on my mind at the moment. Recent unsolicited offers have included lotions to restore my hair - like how do they know I'm bald? (which I am, but it doesn't bother me so why are they trying to help?) - numerous offers of viagra - (I'm going through a lack of libido stage at the moment and I can't even remember if I need viagra - though now I've posted this I'll probably get spam offering me libido pills) - and a weird one some time ago asking me if I'd like to watch somebody doing something anatomically inadvisable with a horse. I also get frequent mails from the American government inviting me to apply for a green card - I wonder how many Cubans get similar mails.

I've been online for four years now, and not yet received one spam about anything I actually want, so how economically viable is all this business? So, to help spammers everywhere. Send me an unsolicited offer of a night out with a team of heavy smoking foul-mouthed Welsh speaking ouzo drinking nineteen-year old body builders who enjoy gardening, baking cakes and watching ludicrous American teenage tv series and I promise I'll send you all my bank details by return of post.

Good night, kalh nyxta se olous a nos da iawn i chi gyd

Jamie